The Demise of Cheese Kate and Spilt Milk

One day this fat motherfucker came to Small Mart after her boyfriend dumped her. She decided to buy a slice of cheese cake (her favorite dessert) and a milk carton (since she's a cheap bitch and it only cost 50 cents).

Only she didn't just buy a cheese cake slice (yea she only bought one bc she's a cheap bitch we already went over this) and a milk carton. She bought Cheese Kate and Spilt Milk--two foods that were very alive and didn't want to be eaten.

"She's gonna suck out my brains. Katie, I don't want her to suck out my brains!!" Spilt Milk complained as she sat in that fat motherfucker's fridge with Cheese Kate.

"Then let's just try to push the fridge door open. It can't be all that heavy, right?" Cheese Kate said.

Cheese Kate and Spilt Milk pushed and pushed on the fridge door, but it wouldn't budge.

"Either we're weaklings or this door is pretty heavy!" Cheese Kate remarked.

Spilt Milk began to freak out.

"Kate, I'm not getting drank! No way! I'd rather just go rotten and die!" she cried.

Cheese Kate shook Spilt Milk, spraying milk everywhere.

"We're going to get out! Okay?" she snapped.

All of a sudden, the fridge door opened.

"We're saved!" Spilt Milk cried, jumping out of the fridge. She landed smack on her face, spilling milk all over the floor.

That fat motherfucker picked up an empty Spilt Milk and tossed her in the trash can. While she was mopping up the spilled milk, Cheese Kate stealthily climbed out of the fridge and ran into the living room, almost colliding with that fat motherfucker's cat.

Cheese Kate let out a yelp of surprise and tore away, the cat charging after her. That fat motherfucker stared in surprise as she watched her cat chase a walking (er, running) slice of cheese cake around the kitchen.

She scooped up Cheese Kate, smushing her a little. Cheese Kate writhed around in that fat fuck's hands, trying desperately to get out.

"Spilt Milk! Spilt Milk, can you hear me? Help!" she cried. No reply.

That fat fuck set Cheese Kate down on a plate and jammed a fork into the side of her head. Pain seared through Cheese Kate, like the worst headache she'd ever had. Cheesecake-y goodness ripped away from Kate's head as that fat fuck pulled the fork away. Cheese Kate was in too much pain to even scream. But after that fat fuck took a few more bites, Cheese Kate began to get numb and enjoyed every last bite taken out of her.